Saturday, October 22, 2011

Third Campaigner Challenge!!!

NOTE: Don't forget Reece's interview from yesterday. I usually don't post on the weekends, but I needed to post this before I forgot.


It's that time again! Are you all ready for another flash fiction? This one was hard but lots of fun. The focus is on showing, not telling. Here are the details from the lovely Rach.

Write a blog post in 300 words or less, excluding the title. The post can be in any format, whether flash fiction, non-fiction, humorous blog musings, poem, etc. The blog post should show:


that it’s morning,
that a man or a woman (or both) is at the beach
that the MC (main character) is bored
that something stinks behind where he/she is sitting
that something surprising happens.


Just for fun, see if you can involve all five senses AND include these random words: "synbatec," "wastopaneer," and "tacise." (NB. these words are completely made up and are not intended to have any meaning other than the one you give them).


With that, I give you...SOOTHER


I stared across the waves as light appeared on the horizon.


“Ember,” Soother called. I heard him searching the house. He’d be here soon.


I yanked at my bracelet, the cold metal digging into my flesh. A sharp pinch brought a drop of blood. I winced, but continued to push. It had to release. There was nothing left for me here. We did the same thing every day. Stared at the waves and spent our time soothing our souls. Mom called it synbatec.


Whatever that meant.


My soul was anything but soothed. More like bored and aching to break free. To run back to Sean, breathe in his musky cologne; feel his arms around me. That’s how I ended up here. Right where Mom wanted me.


What she didn’t know was that Soother had his own methods. Electric bracelets, tecise discipline, and an aroma therapy that made my head pulse.


The door slammed and I heard his footsteps. I bit the bracelet and tugged my hand, the taste of blood filling my mouth as Soother descended the wooden stairs.


I crumpled to the ground and plugged my nose. It didn’t stop his wastopaneer scent from reaching inside, tempting my stomach to erupt.


“Ember,” he whispered, his soft voice grating my ears.


I stood. Turned slowly. And froze. 


Sean tiptoed towards us through the sand.


“Come back inside,” Soother said. “No need to hurt yourself.”


“This pain soothes me more than anything you’ve tried.”


He chuckled then went wide eyed as Sean strapped an electric bracelet on each wrist, pushing him across the trigger line.


I squeezed my eyes and listened to the screams. Sean grabbed my hand and pulled me forward. My eyes opened to a loud snap. The bracelet dropped and Sean lifted me, saving me from my torture.


Hope you liked it. If you did, go vote for me here. I'm number 102. And read the other entries while you're there! 

22 comments:

  1. Oh yes, I want to know more about this world :-)

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  2. Very interesting, nice descriptive! ; )

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  3. Interesting twists! This would be a fun one to make into a full story. :)

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  4. I'm glad Sean came and rescued her! Soother sounded like one strange character . . . great entry!

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  5. Wow, that wowed me! You have my vote! It totally left me wanting to read more of the story!! Great job!

    I'm entry #5

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  6. I adore the way you used the words in there. Great job! :)

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  8. Your concept here was pretty cool, I enjoyed it.

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  9. Ooh, I'm so intrigued! This could definitely be the beginning of a very cool, very dark story. Loved all the twists and the surprise a the end. Great job!

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  10. Michelle, I really really did like it. Your story was different than alot of other peoples. Great job!!!

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  11. I'd say that Sean guy's a keeper. Good story.

    mood
    (now following)
    Moody Writing
    @mooderino
    no. 79

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  12. Oh, I love this! That's a very scary world you've created . And I love "Whatever that meant."
    Mine is #25.

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  13. What an original and imaginative idea! Good luck!

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  14. I can always trust you for a satisfying read. That was excellent! Love your writing style. :)

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  15. Thanks so much everyone! I've had a fun time hopping around to read other entries :) These flash fictions are so fun for me. I get all sorts of story ideas that I could develop one day...

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  16. Very compelling and discriptive. Great job.

    Patricia

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  17. great! i love a happy, justified ending! good scene!

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  18. Oh I love this one. Sean sounds fantastic and I'm glad Soother got what he deserved. The piece sets a great mood too. Well done.

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  19. Yay! I love a happy ending :) Nice use of the words.

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  20. Love, love, loved it! This kind of story is right up my alley and you did a great job telling it.

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  21. Hey I'm supposed to tell you that you've moved on to the next phase of judging! Congrats!

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Thanks so much for visiting! I appreciate your comments and feedback.